The Past Catches Up
by figleaf
Summary: Ian accidentally tells Anthony's girlfriend about his secret past with him while drunk at a party. Will Ian ultimately be responsible for the destruction of his and Anthony's relationships, or worse, Smosh?
1. Chapter 1

"Hey," Ian slurred over the loud music to Kalel. She eyed him suspiciously.

"Oh, hi Ian," she said unenthused, looking past him. "Um, I'm going to find Anthony." She attempted to walk away but Ian blocked her path. Kalel could smell the alcohol on his breath and recognized the glazed over look in his eyes.

"You're really... pretty in that dress," he smiled, giving her a once over. "I can see why Ant... Anthony likes you."

She folded her arms across her chest uncomfortably. "Ian you're drunk. Go find Melanie to take you home."

Ian ignored her. "I'm not trying to hit on you Kalel if that's what you're thinking, I just...," he stumbled a little, losing his balance and hiccupped. "I just… I just wanted to say that I'm just glad Anthony found a girl who... Who likes him for th- guy he is." He laughed, amused by his own statement.

"Oh, um, thank you Ian," she replied awkwardly. She tried to slip away again, but the blue eyed 24 year-old continued.

"I mean, not that he's had problems in the past with getting chicks..." he paused to take a drink of his cocktail."cuz he's so fricken HOT, you know..."

Kalel searched for a way around him, but there were too many people blocking the way. She sighed in defeat.

"...But I mean, no one really knows Anthony like his best friend, me! I mean, I-I know him better than anyone!" Ian took another swig and smirked drunkenly, like he had her beat. He went on. "Anthy... Anthony and me've done everything... Everything together!" He dramatically waved his arms out, spilling his drink, slightly. Kalel scoffed, finally reaching her limit.

"Oh that's cute, and I bet you two have slept together too," she laughed. Ian wrinkled his nose in disgust at her reply. "Yeah, that's what differentiates us, Ian. Now please just let me find my boyfriend."

Ian suddenly surprised her by laughing.

"What? What's so funny?" Kalel asked, slightly annoyed. Ian stopped for a moment to reply.

"Wuh-weren't you even listening to me? You really have no idea, do you?"

Kalel looked at him like he was crazy. "What, to your drunken blather about Anthony?" she muttered.

Ian smirked and took another drink.

"Anthony never told you that he an' I _did_ fuckin'… _sleep together_? That I was his first?"

Kalel suddenly looked shocked, then she huffed in annoyance.

"Oh yeah, do you really expect me to believe that?" She folded her arms.

"I really don't give a ffffff-firetruck if ya do, I'm just sayin', you know that thing he does when he kinda bites down on your neck, licks it, and blows over it? I totally used to do that to him."

Kalel had a sudden look of realization, then anger. She forcefully shoved Ian out of the way into a nearby potted plant and pushed her way through the crowd of people.

"Ow," Ian mumbled before vomiting into said plant and blacking out.

-x-

"Ian!"

"…"

"Ian!"

"Mmfh…"

" IAN FUCKING HECOX!"

"Fuck! Not so loud, my head!" Ian grumbled, clutching his head with both hands. He suddenly felt himself being lifted off the ground by his shirt.

"Hey, what the hell?" he asked, squinting to see who was lifting him.

"God dammit Ian, what the fuck is wrong with you?" He heard Anthony ask as he came into view.

"What? Ow, Anthony! Why are you picking me up like this?" Ian asked, disoriented.

"Why?" Anthony replied angrily, "Because you're fucking ruining everything!"

Ian felt the room spin around one way and Anthony spinning another and felt sick and confused.

"What-what are you talking about? What did I do?"

Anthony threw him back down on the ground.

"Aaaah! Hey! Seriously, what the hell was that for?"

"You fucking told her," Anthony fumed. "You promised you'd never bring it up ever again and you did. TO HER OF ALL PEOPLE!"

"I-I'm not following…" Ian trailed off. "Told who what?"

"GAAAH! Kalel, you idiot! Last night!"

"Anthony," Ian mumbled trying his hardest not to throw up again, "I don't remember what happened, I was so shit-faced last night."

Anthony knelt down beside him, glaring right into his eyes.

"You told Kalel about our… past… and now she wants nothing to do with me!"

"I-Oh shit…"

"Dammit Ian, she fucking confronted me about it and made this HUGE fucking scene about it in front of everyone at the party!"

"Shit! I'm sorry! I'm sorry, Anthony!" Ian whimpered.

"Of course I could have denied it and passed it off as you being a drunk idiot, but then you had to go tell her about that thing I do in bed! She accused me of fucking you behind her back every time we're together! We just bought a house together and she wants to break up!"

"But-but that was a long time ago!"

"She doesn't fucking care, man! It's over. You've embarrassed yourself, me, and your girlfriend too!"

"What? Did Melanie leave last night too?" Ian asked.

"Uh-YEAH! After Kalel told her everything!"

"Wait-what?" Ian looked around the floor and found his cell phone. He had 6 new voicemails and 15 new texts. He felt his heart sinking.

"Shit," be mumbled going through the walls of text from Melanie's messages.

Anthony was pacing back and forth angrily.

"Seriously dude, I don't even know why I even bothered letting you fuck me back then. I fucking knew it would come back someday and ruin my life!"

Ian felt a twinge of pain through his heart, then anger.

"Really? Don't forget you fucking came onto me, asshole! Don't pin it all on me when you were the drunk and horny teenager who needed to get laid ASAP!"

"Oh yeah, and it was entirely all my fault when you came out to me, and only me, as being bi. When you kept telling me how you always wondered what it's like to kiss another guy."

"Well, you were my best friend! Who else was I gonna tell? You know the other guys always ripped on the gay kids, I knew you wouldn't!" Ian felt hot tears form around his eyes so he turned away from Anthony.

"And I didn't tell anyone! That's my point! You did, Ian! You told the one person I never wanted to find out." Anthony sighed in frustration. "I need some time to think," he muttered, walking out of the living room and slamming the door to his room.

Ian put a hand on his throbbing head.

"God Dammit."


	2. Chapter 2

Ian sat on his bed listening to Anthony on the phone, something that he normally couldn't do when Anthony was in his room, but it wasn't too difficult to hear him arguing from where he was.

It had been two hours already and Anthony was still arguing with his girlfriend.

Ian sighed and thumped his head lightly against the wall behind him over and over again in frustration. He glanced at his own phone for the hundredth time that minute and snatched it quickly when it buzzed.

Melanie.

While Anthony had been verbally arguing with his girlfriend, Ian had been texting back and forth his repeatedly for the past hour because she was at work.

Just as Ian had pressed the send button, he quickly realized how quiet it was. Anthony must finally be off the phone now.

God, he felt like an ass.

One night, that's all it took to destroy two relationships and one friendship.

He had to do something. He might have already lost Melanie, but dammit if he lost Smosh.

He stood up; ignoring the buzz coming from the cell phone left on the bed and went to make things right with Anthony.

"Anthony, can we talk?" he asked the door.

He sighed.

"Look, I'm sorry okay. I didn't mean to fuck everything up." He waited.

Anthony opened his door.

He looked exhausted.

"I know Ian," he said, blinking a few times while standing in the doorway.

"I was kind of being a dick earlier. I know you were drunk and these things sometimes slip out. Fuck," he leaned against the door and ran a frustrated hand through his dark hair.

"Look dude, I've been thinking a lot and there's something I wanted to say. Well, I've been wanting to say for a while now," he took a breath. Ian looked at him, unsure of what to expect.

"I wanted to say sorry." Anthony finally sighed.

"For what?" Ian asked.

"…for, you know. Ending things between us the way I did. It was kind of douchey the way I left things, and yeah, it was even douchier for me to expect us to go back to being friends right after when you were obviously hurting."

Ian hadn't expected this. Anthony seemed so… forgiving all of a sudden. It was… strange.

"Don't worry about it, man," Ian replied, slightly awkwardly. "Um, can I ask you something?"

"Yeah, go ahead," Anthony said.

Ian suddenly felt reluctant.

He swallowed.

"If you could… change what you did… I mean, do you regret…"

Ian couldn't find exactly what he wanted to say.

Anthony suddenly looked uncomfortable.

"Ian," Anthony cut him off.

"Kalel and I decided to stay together."

A sick feeling suddenly made its way into his stomach. He shouldn't have expected less, but the news hit him fast.

"Oh. That's good. I'm glad," he smiled.

"Me too," Anthony smiled back. "She said she would only keep working at our relationship if I agreed to go to couples therapy, though."

Anthony didn't seem too happy with the arrangement, Ian noticed.

"But I still love her. I don't wanna lose her."

Ian nodded in silent agreement, averting his eyes.

"What about you man? What's going on with Mel?"

Ian sighed.

"We were thinking it's best if we broke up."

Anthony looked shocked, then concerned. "Oh god dude, I'm so sorry," he sympathized.

Ian shook his head. "It's not really over what happened last night. There's a lot more to it than just that. I think we both knew having a long distance relationship wouldn't work out in the end. I think last night was the final straw for her or whatever."

Anthony looked down at his feet and lightly kicked the door. "I can't blame you. I can drive up and see Kalel. You have to fly across the country to see Melanie."

"Yeah. Plus her parents never liked me," Ian frowned.

"That's harsh," Anthony concurred. "It took me a while to win Kalel's parent's trust. Her dad still keeps telling me to get a real job." He laughed a little. "Did she say anything about us though?"

"What do you mean?" Ian asked.

"I mean, being together before."

"Oh. She said she wasn't surprised. I think she kind of knew I was bi though." Ian bit his bottom lip and looked down.

"What makes you say that?"

"I dunno. Just certain comments she would make here and there."

"Oh," Anthony said.

"She said that whenever we have sex, it was different than it was with other guys."

"Well, how many guys has she been with before?" Anthony asked. "Didn't you guys start dating when she was nineteen?"

"Yeah…" Ian trailed off. "She told me she was only with three other guys, I guess. But she said I'm just… different."

"I think I kind of see where she's coming from though. I mean, not that I've had sex with any other guy besides you." Anthony sat down on the floor of the doorframe.

"So I'm the only guy you've slept with?" Ian asked, a little hesitant.

"Yeah…"

"Have you… thought about being with another guy besides me? I mean of course, before you started dating Kalel?"

Ian could tell Anthony wasn't really comfortable talking about this. "Um… not really. I kinda just… wanted a normal relationship I guess."

Ian felt a pain in his chest. Anthony realized what he had just said.

"No, t-that's not what I meant…" Anthony tried to take back what he said, but it was too late.

"No, I understand what you're saying. I'm not normal," Ian mumbled. "I'm a fucking freak 'cuz I like both sexes." Ian looked up at the ceiling, blinking back tears.

"Ian, you know that's not what I meant," Anthony tried to explain, but Ian slowly began walking to his room.

"Ian!" Anthony got up and caught up to him. He put his hand on his shoulder but Ian jerked it away.

"Don't fucking touch me, Anthony!"

"Ian, I'm trying to tell you that…"

"Fuck off!" Ian slammed the door to his room in his face.


	3. Chapter 3

Ian looked at his phone. Melanie had texted him three more times since his conversation with Anthony.

The last text just said "Call me ASAP."

Ian called her.

The other line rang once before she picked up.

"Ian."

"Melanie," he sighed, clutching his head.

There was an awkward silence that fell upon them.

"How long were you two together?" she suddenly asked.

"It was only a little while."

"How long, Ian?" she repeated more forcefully.

"I don't know! I guess... Four or five months! It was a really long time ago. Look, I'm sorry. Anthony and I liked each other for a long time before we started dating and we broke up. I promise nothing's going on between us now. He doesn't see me as more than a friend, Melanie."

There was a pause while he waited for her to reply.

"Ian..." She sighed. "I still love you. And I know I shouldn't let things like this come between us, especially since it happened before we became a couple..."

Ian knew she was leading up to something and leaned against the bedframe.

"...but I don't think we should be in a relationship if we can't trust each other."

"But Mel, I trust you!"

Melanie started crying.

"You made a mistake then..."

Ian froze. "W-what do you mean?"

"Ian... I'm so sorry." she sniffled. "Last year when I was staying with my parents... I met a guy."

There was a pause while Ian took the news in.

"Oh," was all he could say.

"I've been seeing him on and off while I've been in Jersey."

"...You have?"

"...yes." She started crying harder.

"Ian, I'm so sorry," she sobbed.

Ian didn't respond. He held the phone in his hand and stared at the wall.

"I had a feeling. A really strong feeling, but I never asked. I... knew you weren't happy. You knew I wasn't either..."

He listened to her weep but kept going.

"I'm not mad. I still love you, but for some reason I'm not mad. I think it's because we never saw each other as a couple...We've drifted apart, I guess."

"Ian? Can I ask you a question?"

"...s-sure."

She hesitated.

"Do you... love Anthony?"

Ian was shocked by the question.

"I don't understand…"

"Kalel told me he was the one who broke it off..."

Ian was suddenly lost for an answer. Melanie broke the silence.

"I'll be there this evening to get my things. Goodbye."

Ian heard the line disconnect.


	4. Chapter 4

The room was a pale, matted white with dull grey carpet that reminded Anthony of an elementary school classroom and a potted plant with dying leaves sat forgotten in a corner. The thumping of Kalel's finger on the armrest of his chair was a little unsettling. He took her hand and gave it a light squeeze of reassurance, flashing a weak smile to her.

"Thanks for doing this for me, sweetheart," she smiled back through glossy peach colored lips.

He looked into her light, prettied-up eyes and thought he saw a small wisp of sadness, but it vanished before he could find out if it really was there.

"No problem babe," he smiled warmly, kissing her cheek. The smile faded into a frown when he turned away from her though.

_I don't even know why the hell we're here_, he thought bitterly.

This is all Ian's fault. If he hadn't of opened his stupid idiotic mouth while he was drunk, Kalel wouldn't have dragged him to this pointless quack's office in the first place.

The receptionist's voice suddenly snapped him out of his thoughts.

"Cullen, Padilla," She called out, hardly even interested in who they were. "Dr. Gibbard will see you now."

"Fucking finally," Anthony muttered under his breath, just out of Kalel's earshot. It was bad enough waiting there for an eternity, but the fact that this had to cut into his work time was just making it worse, especially since it meant Ian had to edit the channel's main video without him, doubling his workload. He was still mad enough as it is at Anthony, and this just added a whole other thing to Ian's list of reasons to hate him.

They walked into the office, Kalel with her arm around his waist into a room filled with framed certificates, a few couches, a desk, and a large window overlooking the city.

"Hello, you must be Kristen and Anthony. I'm Dr. Gibbard," an older man with glasses greeted.

"I prefer Kalel," she smiled back as she shook his hand.

"Okay, Kalel. Please, have a seat. Make yourselves comfortable."

Anthony and Kalel sat down.

"So I understand this is your first time seeing a physiatrist," he asked, adjusting his glasses and pulling out a clipboard from his desk.

Kalel was gripping Anthony's hand and nodded. Anthony took in a long breath and sighed.

_This is gonna be a long day._

* * *

Ian had a lot going through his mind.

True he didn't think he was a perfect match for Melanie, but that didn't mean that he didn't love her. He wanted to be friends, because hell. That's basically what their relationship was the whole time; friends with benefits.

And then there was Anthony.

He could just kick himself over how he treated Anthony. He knew he didn't deserve being yelled at like that.

Did he really think their relationship was a mistake? Or that by being the way he is isn't… _normal_?

Maybe he overreacted. But even then, how can he just dismiss five month just like that? He didn't understand it. Sure if they had just experimented it probably would have lasted a few days, a week maybe, who knows. But that long?

He suddenly felt old feelings resurfacing, ones he tried for so long to force himself to forget.

He thought back to the way Anthony would playfully call him names and then kiss him to remedy his poutiness. All the times they almost got caught at sleepovers at their parent's house kissing or doing… other things. He blushed at the memory.

Oh God. The feeling were coming up like a geyser, flooding his brain with emotion.

"Stop," he firmly told himself. "He doesn't love you anymore. _You_ don't love him anymore…"

Ian looked at his progress on the Smosh video and realized he'd hardly gotten anything done. He sighed loudly and got up to go to the kitchen to get a snack when he heard the doorbell ring.

It was Melanie.

"Hey," he mumbled, only briefly looking at her.

"Hi," she answered back quietly.

"C-come in," he said, making space for her.

She took a few steps in and he closed the door.

"Is Anthony here?" She asked.

"No, he's with Kalel at some therapy thing."

"Oh."

Neither said anything for a while.

Ian cleared his throat.

"You're here to pick up your stuff."

She nodded grievously which only made him feel worse. He could tell she had been crying by how her mascara had smeared and had been wiped from her eyes in a poorly desperate attempt to hide it.

"Ian, I love you," She choked out, unable to hold back.

"I love you too," Ian automatically answered, going in to embrace her.

She stopped him.

"But…" She added with a hand on his shoulder. "We can't keep doing this to ourselves. We're not committed."

Ian nodded and backed away.

"Can we at least still be friends?" He murmured.

"I don't know."

Ian sighed.

"I'm sorry, Ian." She whispered, bringing a hand to her face.

"Well I hope he treats you better than I did," Ian suddenly said. He didn't mean it to come off as aggressive as it did.

Melanie didn't say anything and went to the spare bedroom to gather her things.

His emotions seemed to be all in a jumble. It was strange that he was suddenly jealous of the other guy, yet he didn't want to be in a relationship with Melanie anymore. It was strange that the feelings for Anthony he had locked away for so long were beginning to emerge.

_Why did life have to be so goddamn confusing?_


	5. Chapter 5

"When did you first meet Ian?" Dr. Gibbard asked as he quickly scribbled something onto his clipboard.

"Um, it was around sixth grade. We had science together. Look, I don't see how this has anything to do with me and Kalel," Anthony said slightly irritated.

"Anthony, please," Kalel hissed. "This is very important to our relationship."

So far they had gotten past the awkward introduction phase, talked about themselves and their relationship for a while, and yet the most awkward part hadn't even come up yet.

Secretly, Anthony was dreading it. He really didn't want to deal with that chapter of his life with anyone other than Ian because it wasn't any of their business and Kalel's probing questions after the whole ordeal weren't helping at all one bit. She didn't get much out of him, only that he ended the relationship between them because he claimed to be straight. It was a simple answer. Too simple for her though. Anthony was able to stop her from asking any more questions, but in lieu of prying further herself, she now has a therapist taking her place, Anthony realized.

The doctor pushed up the frames of his glasses and cleared his throat. "You claim to be best friends with Ian so Ian must be important to you then?"

"Well we've been friends for a long time, so yeah," Anthony answered.

"There's something more you should know," Kalel interrupted. Anthony groaned, knowing exactly what she was referring to even though it was only inevitable it would come up.

"It's pretty much the reason we're here," Kalel said a little hesitantly. She didn't look at Anthony at all when she spoke, like she was afraid of what his reaction might be.

"Go on," Dr. Gibbard coaxed, making a motion with his hand.

Anthony just wanted to curl up and die, but the closest he could do was bring a hand to his forehead.

_Why are you doing this to me, Kalel? Just stop. The past is the past._

He forced himself not to physically show any more negative feelings as she went on, keeping in the frustrated sigh he was about to let out.

"The other night… we were at a party and Ian got drunk and started talking to me…"

She was reluctant to go on as the memories from that night started to flash in her mind.

The doctor seemed very interested at this point. "Mmh hmm," he pressed on with peaked interest.

Kalel opened her mouth to continue but Anthony abruptly cut in. "Ian and I were in a relationship, okay? It was a long time ago and he told her when he was completely..." He wanted to say shit faced but sought a less vulgar set of words for the doctor, "...Very drunk. But it's over and it's been over for years. We've learned to cope with the past and put it behind us and live and work together as friends."

Might as well get it all out in the open now instead of beat around the bush.

The room grew quiet as Anthony finished his confession. Kalel didn't dare speak or look at him, but he could feel how tense she felt even without sneaking a glance. Doctor Gibbard didn't look surprised at all, like he expected this.

"I see," he stroked his beard in thought, breaking the silence. "And how long were you and Ian in a relationship?"

Anthony shifted in his seat but couldn't get comfortable. "About five months..." He mumbled distantly.

"Were you in love with him?"

Anthony looked down at his hands and didn't respond. There was a tense silence in the room as he hesitated then he suddenly looked up as though something had struck him and firmly replied. "No. I never saw him as more than a friend. We were just... experimenting."

He was staring right into Doctor Gibbard's eyes as he said this, standing a litter straighter than before and confidently holding his ground with the most serious look he could muster. A complete turnaround from the cheerful, jokingly fun man he usually was.

The doctor stared at him. Hard.

Anthony felt his confidence almost dwindle but caught himself before he thought anyone could notice. He felt like a child whose mother was accusing of taking cookies from the jar.

"Okay," he finally said after what seemed like ages. He scribbled some more notes and only the sound of his pen on clipboard could be heard. "Five months is a long time to be in that type of relationship, Anthony," he noted, but not in an accusatory way. Anthony didn't respond. The doctor turned to Kalel, much to Anthony's relief that he was no longer under scrutiny, but also horror that his own girlfriend was talking to a man they just met about his past sexual encounters with his best friend. Anthony suddenly felt anger rush through him that this was happening. Undirected anger at everyone, especially Ian, the man who was ruining the best thing that ever happened to him. He clenched his fists and tried to calm down.

He felt like he couldn't stay mad at him though. It was honestly a legitimate mistake on his part and he did apologize after all.

The doctor went on to ask Kalel about that night and she went over in excruciating detail how she felt, how at first she didn't believe him. Everything, like she was on a witness stand in court. Anthony felt sick to his stomach like he was in a bad dream that just wouldn't end.

He sat through the whole thing regardless, waiting for it to be over and giving as little information than needed as possible. Anthony could be a pretty straightforward guy, but for some reason talking about that part of his life was just too personal, even with Kalel.

She had bombarded him with questions and accusations that left him feeling extremely uncomfortable. She couldn't see how two people could stay friends after a relationship, probably, Anthony assumed, because she never had to before. Apparently the phrase "I think we should just be friends" was impossible to maintain in her mind.

I managed to do it. Why can't she see the truth; that I never loved Ian.

Something suddenly swept through him, like a dizzying blast of hot wind from behind. It was a feeling in the pit of his stomach that felt familiar yet hidden and it caught him off guard. There was nothing he could do to stop it but he used all his power to.

_I need to get out of here_

"Listen, we have a lot of stuff to do so if we could cut this meeting short I would really appreciate it, Doc."

Surprisingly Dr. Gibbard seemed to agree. "Alright. I can tell you too are eager to leave, so I'll leave you two to your busy Internet lives. I'm very glad we were able to get to know each other and I hope to see you again."

Kalel smiled as they stood up and shook his hand. "Thank you so much, Doctor. It's truly been a pleasure."

"Likewise." He shook Anthony's hand and began leaving.

When they got in Anthony's car and started driving back home, Kalel turned to him.

"I think that went well."

Anthony made a light "Hmph," sound and kept driving.

The rest of the drive was quiet for the most part.

He needed to be alone to think. Something in his mind was trying to make itself known and he didn't have the time or the patience to deal with it. Not now, or ever.


	6. Chapter 6

It had been roughly three hours since Melanie had completely moved out of Ian's life and he was still feeling conflicting emotions. She let him keep some of her paintings as mementos seeing as how they had become staples of the Smosh household over the years along with some of the more sentimental things they had exchanged over the years as well. Ian looked at the clock, forgetting that he had to keep track of the time. He knew Anthony was coming back that evening to go over the footage he edited and give his final say on it as he always did. He just didn't know how to adjust back to their normal lives again or how they would even begin the conversation. He played out every possible scenario in his mind but quickly came to a halt when one on them ended up with seducing Anthony into sex.

_God, what the hell is wrong with me? Maybe Anthony's right. I'm not normal._

He heard the sound of the garage opening along with Anthony's car pulling into the driveway and began to panic but before he had any time to dwell on the matter any further Anthony was already through the door and Ian was at a complete loss of what to say. He tried to busy himself with his work.

_Figures he's busy_Anthony though, since he assumed Ian was still angry at him from their last conversation. He remembered that Ian liked to focus on work more often when heavy emotions were involved. He guessed it helped keep his mind off them. He sighed, thinking of what to say but nothing came to Anthony's mind so he walked past him to his bedroom when something caught his eye, or rather, the lack of something.

"Ian?" He quietly asked.

Ian kept his focus on his screen.

He knew Anthony saw the empty room, formerly Melanie's room when she visited from the East Coast. He felt Anthony's presence approaching from behind. Ian waited for him to speak but to his surprise he just sat in the adjacent chair and sighed heavily. Ian clicked on another frame on the screen and adjusted the color. "I..." He barely heard Anthony say, as though he were clearing his throat. Ian stopped clicking and turned his head slightly but still not meeting his eyes. "I'm...sorry about earlier."

Ian bit his lower lip and sighed too, avoiding his eyes. "No… I'm the one who should be sorry. I fucking blew up at you for no reason. I guess I'm just under a lot of stress right now." Anthony looked down at his hands on his lap. Ian bit his tongue, trying to suppress what his mind wanted to ask next, but he asked it anyway. "You never answered my question."

Anthony's head quickly darted up. "What question?" He looked down at the table, then back at Anthony and swallowed.

"Did you ever regret our relationship in the past?"

"I..." Anthony felt himself unable to answer his question at first. He thought back to his session with Dr. Gibbard and how he blatantly expressed his stance on how he felt about Ian.

Ian knew it wasn't a subject Anthony was particularly fond of as well but he needed to know. There was an awkward moment of silence as Ian waited for his answer. "Well... I guess not," he finally replied. "I mean, if we hadn't been together I don't think we would've made Smosh as popular as it is now..."

Anthony immediately noticed the small look of dejection on Ian's face and quickly added "…but it's not really the popularity that I care about. I was just really glad that we stayed friends after all of that." Ian nodded and began to re-edit the completed video to distract himself. Anthony felt like Ian was somehow distancing himself from him and it started making him feel upset. "Ian?" he asked, as Ian clicked over to the next frame. "Can we just, _not fight_anymore and be friends again? This really sucks."

Ian's eyes looked down at the keyboard then wavered back to Anthony. "I think I'd like that." Anthony smiled auspiciously and patted his back before walking off to the fridge to get a soda. "Friends… nothing more," Ian said in a quiet tone. Before the thoughts from earlier could come back and hit him full force he decided to change the subject. "So how did your session with the psycho go?" He asked.

Anthony sighed loudly and slunk into the sofa, opening his can of soda. "I fuckin' hate therapy, dude. It sucks balls," he muttered, taking a swig from his drink. "Hopefully I can convince Kalel we don't need it so I don't have to drive all the way across town every other day." Ian wanted to ask what they talked about but decided it was better to wait. "Is it just gonna be you and her going or are you gonna go alone sometimes?" Ian asked curiously.

Anthony never really thought about it but the very idea of going alone was almost as unappealing as going at all. "Fuck that," he griped. "I'd rather sit at home filming myself pick fleas off the cat than go to another one of those stupid meetings." Ian smiled for the first time that day at his casual sarcasm. Anthony sighed, seemingly exasperated but wearily. "So what have ya got?" he asked turning his attention to the video on Ian's screen clearly wanting to get off that particular subject as well. Ian remembered he had finished editing and began to click into some windows on the screen.

"Here, tell me what you think," Ian said as he clicked the play button. The scene started out with Ian and Anthony sitting on their usual couch complaining about what was on the television before it started going into the skits they had shot weeks ago. Ian's mind was heavy with though, not really paying any attention at all as scene after scene played out earning a few scattered laughs from Anthony. When it was over Anthony looked content with the footage. "You actually did pretty good, man." Anthony's bad mood from before seemed to have lifted as he praised Ian for his editing. "You should edit the main videos more often. It would give me a break," he laughed. Ian's lips curved to a small smile. "Yeah, how 'bout we just keep it like it is and I let you do that."

Anthony shrugged. "Alright, whatever man. Just giving you a complement, that's all." Ian looked back to the footage. "So it's good? There's nothing you wanna change?" Anthony furrowed his brow and shook his head. "Nah, I think you pretty much nailed it. Good job." Ian suddenly found himself smiling wider. Something about Anthony's praise actually _did_make him feel better about himself but almost as quickly as he began to take pleasure in this feeling he though was lost his mind suddenly began thinking about Melanie and he frowned.

"So, hey," Ian asked as Anthony was beginning to do something on his phone. "Are you staying for a bit? We could hang out for a while now that we've gone over the video," Ian suggested. He smiled hopefully knowing that with Anthony over, sometimes "work" meant staying over late playing video games until Kalel called wanting him home but Anthony gave him a disheartened look.

"Sorry dude. I promised Kalel we'd spend tonight working on some kind of scrapbooking thing. You know how she gets when she finds a new project. She has a stack of photos she wants to sort through though they're mainly just pictures of Kabuki," he smiled uneasily. "You understand, right?"

Ian scoffed and waved his hand. "Pssh! Oh yeah, totally. Womenfolk, huh?" he offhandedly smirked getting up from his chair to walk him to the door. Anthony then remembered Ian's situation with Melanie and began to feel regretful for bringing up his own girlfriend. He anxiously brought a hand up to the back of his neck and shifted uncomfortably. "Well, I don't _…have_to go right now, I guess," he said a little more doubtful he should leave Ian by himself. He probably wanted to talk about it. Anthony wasn't one to turn away from Ian when he needed him.

At least not since...

"No, no, go! I got lots of shit to move around in the garage anyway." Ian looked over to the direction of the garage door then back to Anthony. "It's getting_ way _too cluttered in there and I wanna move some stuff into the… other room." Ian's smile faded a bit when the last part left his lips but then he grinned even wider. Anthony was beginning to feel a little more concerned but Ian was already trying to rush him out the door. "Come on, you don't wanna keep Kabuki waiting," he added. "A-Are you sure?" Anthony asked still feeling regretful he should go. Ian had already picked up Anthony's backpack and handed it to him, nodding. "Gotta clean out Charlie's cage too. That little British bastard must've had a party last night in there," Ian joked.

"Alright," he reluctantly replied. Anthony stepped into the garage where his car was parked and turned to give Ian one last look. "Ian," he said as he slung his backpack on his shoulder. He looked down at the cold concrete under his feet. "I just…" he couldn't find what he wanted to say.

"I'm okay," Ian finally said, knowing full well where Anthony was getting at. "We're done. She moved out and she's out of my life. We're done. I'm not…" he sighed. Anthony looked right into his eyes, concerned for his best friend, seeing nothing but turmoil and anguish beneath his forced smile. "I'm fine, really. Please, just… I need to clean out the garage. I'll see you tomorrow."

With that Ian had shut the door.

* * *

**Hi, I'm sorry for not updating in so long! Forgive me! Also thank you to everyone who's been following this story since day one (or at least chapter one). You guys are awesome! Oh, and tell me what you think in the comments too!  
**


	7. Chapter 7

It was Friday morning and Anthony was busy getting ready to go to Ian's house to film Lunchtime. Kalel was in the dining room setting up her camera to film another one of her vlogs while Anthony was gathering everything he needed to spend the rest of the day at Ian's house editing and helping with some website issues. He adjusted his gray Volcom hat and grabbed his backpack making his way to the living room to find his keys when suddenly Kalel was standing in front of him.

"Oh, you're leaving already?" She asked innocently as she fiddled with her camera in hand. Anthony sighed and looked away feeling guilty. "Yeah, I gotta shoot today," he mumbled. The look of hurt on her face was painful enough without having to leave her alone in the house the rest of the day. "I'll be back before you know it, babe," he said giving her a quick peck on the lips and walking towards the door.

"W-wait, um," she called out. Anthony turned around and saw her looking worried. "You're shooting _Lunchtime_, right?" She asked sounding a little more than concerned.

"Yeah, and maybe Ian is Bored too." He saw her make a face when he mentioned Ian's name but she quickly covered her frown with a grin. "Well, have fun then! I'll be at home working on this video." She held up the camera in her hand awkwardly, keeping the strained smile on her face. "Alright. Just text me what you want me to bring home for dinner," Anthony replied as he grabbed his keys from the table and headed out the door.

Kalel stood there expressionlessly nodding in a zoned state as Anthony stepped out and drove away.

-

Ian's house was only ten minutes away but the drive there seemed eternal with all the heavy thoughts coursing through Anthony's mind. Kalel had never made him feel _this_ guilty for going to Ian's house in the past. Then again she didn't know about his past with him either. Maybe she was beginning to lose trust in him. He couldn't believe that though. They've been dating for a little over a year and they just moved in together.

All the worrying thoughts continued to swim through his mind up until he pulled into Ian's garage and walked through the door. He didn't see Ian in the living room or the kitchen so he figured he was in his room. Anthony walked down the hallway and quietly knocked on the door.

"Ian?" he asked. He heard silence. He knocked a little louder. "Ian? Can I come in?" Anthony slowly turned the knob and began pushing the door open. He felt a sudden chill travel down his spine as an image of Ian injured or half dead entered his mind but quickly brushed it off and peered into the room.  
Ian wasn't there. He did a mental sigh of relief that his previous vision was nothing _more_ than that but then he began to grow concerned.

"Where the hell is he?" He uttered quietly as he turned back to the hallway. The bathroom door was open and he flicked on the light looking inside.

_Oh my god, he better not be…_

He tore open the shower curtain to reveal… nothing.

He sighed in relief and walked out. "Ian?" he called out loudly. "Are you here? Where are you?" He took a few steps out into the living room again just to make sure he didn't miss him by chance. Still, he found no sign of his blue eyed bowl haired friend. _His car is still in the garage,_ Anthony thought back. _Maybe he went for a run._ Convinced that _that_ had to have been the case, Anthony decided to wait in his own room for Ian's return.

He made his way back down the hall and casually opened his door and walked in.

"What the hell…?" he mumbled in confusion.

His room was exactly as he had left it _except_ somehow his bed was missing its black and gray checkered comforter. He furrowed his brow in confusion and looked around again hoping to find some rational explanation but everything else was still as he had left it.

_Why the hell is my blanket gone?_

Anthony then checked the laundry room, the garage again and the backyard but there was still no sign of his blanket or Ian anywhere. When he checked Ian's room again he found his wallet and keys sitting on the desk. He was getting pretty frantic at this point but then he remembered there was one place he hadn't checked yet.

"Ian?"

He slowly pushed open the door and walked into the empty room. Ian was curled in the center of the floor wrapped in Anthony's blanket.

"Ian? Dude. What are you doing?" Anthony asked as he approached him. Ian didn't reply. Anthony took ahold of his shoulder and shook him awake. "Hey," Anthony said softly.

Ian groaned and turned over to see Anthony hovering above him.

"Why are you sleeping on Melanie's floor in my blanket?" Anthony asked as he crouched over him. Ian stretched and grunted, scratching the top of his head. "It's not her room anymore," Ian mumbled as he rubbed the sleep from his eyes and sat up. Anthony saw a box of tissues next to him on the ground and made a face.

"Ew dude! Where you-"

"No!" Ian shot back defensively. "I wasn't jacking off if that's what you were thinking."

"Okay, geeze!" Anthony said raising his hands. "I just saw you in a blanket _-my blanket-_ with a box of tissues and thought…"

Ian turned away and frowned sharply. "I was… crying, okay?" He murmured bitterly. Ian stood up and walked out into the living room with his head hanging down. Anthony watched him leave with a sense of guilt and remorse. He picked himself off the floor and lifted the blanket up to his nose.

_It smells like Ian_ He thought as he inhaled the rich scent. He carried it over to his room and tossed it on the bed. When Anthony walked back into the living room Ian was on the couch watching TV. He walked over and sat down beside him watching whatever program Ian was momentarily. Anthony looked over at Ian and saw an immense field of sadness around him. Ian propped his arm on the side of the couch and rested his head in his hand.

"What are you watching?" Anthony asked after a while.

"I dunno," Ian sighed. "I think it's some weird British version of The Office." He continued to stare blankly at the characters on the screen. "Oh," Anthony said. After another moment passed Anthony glanced over to Ian again. "Do you wanna do Lunchtime in a little bit?"

Ian stretched and sighed again. "Yeah. Okay," he said in a strained voice as he stretched out his arms and got up. Anthony figured he was sore from sleeping on the ground. Ian walked over to the fridge making a smacking noise with his lips. His hair was disheveled and he scratched his stomach through his dark blue shirt as he looked inside.

"Juice?" He offered Anthony holding up the jug. "No thanks, man." Ian poured himself a glass and put it back. Anthony watched the show while Ian walked back to the couch and sat down. "Um, sorry I borrowed your blanket," he said uneasily. "I vacuumed that room before I slept there so it shouldn't be really dirty. The blanket, I mean." Ian turned down and looked at his glass.

"Don't worry about it, man."

They sat in silence for the remainder of the show then Ian got back up. "Lemme go take a shower then we can go."

"Sure thing," Anthony answered back. He watched Ian set his empty glass in the sink and leave.

Hopefully now that they had more time together Ian would begin to open up about what was bothering him.


	8. Chapter 8

Anthony offered to drive but Ian declined. Driving meant Ian could focus more on the thoughts clouding his mind while Anthony sat beside him filming dancing pickles and oversized trucks go by. He realized Anthony was just trying to lift his spirits by joking around with the camera like they usually did but it just didn't feel right this time. Anthony seemed to take the hint when his joke about stoplights fell flat. He switched off the camera and quietly set it on his lap.

"Why'd you stop filming?" Ian asked after finally noticing a few minutes later. Anthony sighed and placed his hand in the crook of his neck.  
"I dunno. I guess… I'm not really feeling it. Let's just wait until we get to the drive thru." Ian knew that was the tone of voice Anthony used when he didn't want to say what was really on his mind and he didn't ask either because he knew it was about him. They pulled up to Wendy's and ordered their usual combos. Anthony picked up the camera to record again, his frown instantly shaping into a grin.  
"That'll be $12.36 at the next window please," the woman in the speaker replied while Anthony mimicked her causing Ian to chuckle. He knew Anthony was just trying to lift his spirits and take his mind off of the worrisome thoughts brooding in his mind. Maybe that was just what he needed.

Ian went along with it and began to feel better, almost as though things were finally becoming somewhat normal. He laughed and joked with Anthony as they sat at their usual dining table, munching on French fries and making odd sounds while they ate. No matter how many episodes they filmed he was always reminded of how much he messed around with Anthony during high school lunch breaks. He looked up at Anthony and could still see the youthful teen he knew then.

Same eyes. Same youthful smile. The only thing that changed really was his hair and how he became a bit leaner and toned. Ian remembered nervously running his hand over his chest and stomach after their first awkward night of lovemaking. Awkward because they really had no idea what they were doing and because afterward they had no clue how the incident would affect their friendship, leaving an uncomfortable silence in the air as each pretended to sleep in Anthony's old bed with the squeaky springs.

Ian rarely visited these memories anymore because he knew they eventually led to the breakup and that was the last thing he wanted to think about.

"Ian!" He was startled out of his thoughts and looked up to see his friend looking at him expectantly. "I said, what would you rate this meal?"

Being the actor he was, Ian quickly composed himself for the final minute of filming, but even he knew he couldn't hide everything from Anthony. "I would rate it seventeen flaming horses out of nineteen."

"A decent score," Anthony agreed. "Good thing I have a picture of Ponyta on my computer already."

They said their goodbyes to the camera and Ian only now realized he'd hardly eaten at all.

Ian had spent the whole day zoning out and Anthony was finally going to talk about it.

"Hey dude? When you're done eating can you meet me in the computer room? I wanna go over some things about the video before we upload it."

"Yeah sure, dude," Ian quickly replied picking up a small bundle of french fries and dipping them in ketchup. Ian watched as Anthony disappeared into the computer room. He had a feeling they were going to talk about more than just the Friday video upload.


End file.
